Dear Bachchan Sir,
Myself Kamalamma from Kunbjibettu, Karnataka.
What to tell you Sir, I am thinking to write since many days but the Mister is saying as if Big B is having no better work than to sit and read Kamalamma’s letter. Then I am getting little irritated and I am taking it like one challenge and I am telling him I will make nice payasa with cashew nuts and elaichi and all, the day Mr. Bachchan reads my letter! All ingredients are ready in kitchen.
I will not ask you how you are Bachchan Sir, because now KBC has started again and we can see by the grace of Udupi Lord Krishna that you are in cracking form. Whereas on this side, I am also fine, thank you, but maybe little bit in creaking form. My bones, Sir, when I bend or turn, they are making krrrr…. sound like creaking doors in Bollywood horror movies. Age is catching up with Kamalamma … what to do?
But nowadays, at 9.00 pm sharp all creaking bones are forgotton, why because it is KBC time! As soon as I am hearing your deep voice on Sony TV, Kaun Banega Karodpati … let’s play, I am throwing whatever I am having in my hands – big patre, small patre, spoon, plate and all inside kitchen sink and making 100 metre dash like PT. Usha towards living room.
Then for one and half hour, my bottom and sofa are like fevicol ka majboot jodi. Ok, once maybe I am getting up; I know you are asking us not to go anywhere, but what to do? At our age cannot control for too long also. But really, they are showing so many advertisements in between, sometimes I am thinking maybe KBC people are forgetting and going home in middle of show.
When you are announcing winner of fastest finger first, I am also getting excited like the women who are selected. How they are jumping and screaming and crying! Abbabba! Nowadays, with Corona restrictions, things are maybe little different, but before all women are rushing full speed, like our Matsyagandha Super-Fast train, to hug you. Then I am little nervous. What if they knock you down? But I am 101% confident that how the coconut trees on our Malpe beach are standing tall and strong in big thunderstorm, like that you are also standing tall and strong in front of our naari storm!
Sir, I am not so intelligent like IIT level and all, but now even the Mister is saying I should be in Hot Seat because for so many questions I am shouting correct answer before options are coming on screen. Then I am counting total how many rupees I have won and thinking what I will do with all the money.
But some questions I am not even listening, because I am studying your neck tie with full concentration. Abbabba! So much colourful and designer tie you are wearing for each show. Sometimes there is complicating knot, sometimes there is small bow tie. I am thinking, maybe if I can convince the Mister to wear tie like that one day – but whether he will look smart and handsome like you is my saath karod question!
What to tell you Sir, till show is getting over, I am in full KBC mood and if the Mister is asking by mistake what there is for dinner, I am giving him four options A) Cook yourself. B) Order online. C) Phone a friend. D) Ask the expert. He is looking at me with mouth open for full 60 seconds and like this his time is up! Then I am taking TV remote and putting full volume so I cannot hear what he is saying.
Anyway, I am finishing this letter with best wishes and prayers to our Udupi Lord Krishna to give you long and healthy life so that we people get to see more new patterns for your tie.
With kindest regards,