Radhika's Diaries

Looking for a humor blog? You've come to the right place!

All great works begin with a disclaimer so here’s mine!

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT intended as a guide or an instructional manual on ‘how to be the world’s best mother’.

If you pick up a few points along the way on how not to be the worst, that is unintentional too!

Hi …

This is an ongoing series on my podcast Bits and Pieces with Radhika where I have fun talking in bits and pieces about anything under the sun.

And right now, I’m having fun talking about my early mother hood days, and I thought I’d take you along on the joy ride too.

So, hop on for episode 1 of my Twin’talising Tales.

Sometimes, the stress and responsibilities of being a mother blinds us to the thrills of being one. My female listeners will agree when I say that the stress of being a mother begins much before we actually become one.

After the marriage scenes, the elaborate henna design on my just-married hands had not even begun to fade, when inquisitive relatives began to throw the all-important question at me – ‘any good news?’ was a refrain I was to hear quite a lot, accompanied by that X-ray look aimed at the region of my stomach.

Very uncomfortable and embarrassing. It made me squirm like a live earthworm under a microscope. And then one evening I indulged myself in a few plates of Mumbayya pani-puri. The result – a mild case of food poisoning with some nausea and vomiting. You can guess the rest. What an excited to-do there was … ooh la la! The grannies went into a tizzy and stayed that way until the false alarm passed by. Later, the dramatic sighs which greeted the regular onset of my 4 day monthly cycles were strong enough to put out a major fire.

All this drama made a young bride like me self-conscious and super guilty that I was making no effort to add to the population of an already burgeoning nation.

Then 2 and a half years later, I was back in everyone’s good books with THE good news! I was in the family way.

My initial feeling was, however, relief more than happiness.

Rule no. 1 – it’s important to keep the relatives happy for our own peace of mind.

But before I could even wrap my head around the idea of a ‘baby on board’, the Gods threw a bouncer at me and my sonographer had the happy and exciting task of informing me that not one but two babies were on board!

Twins! Like, seriously! At least I hoped this would keep the old crones quiet for a longer time.

In the meanwhile, take care and don’t go bouncing over the bad Mumbai roads, advised my doctor who had her clinic in the colony I lived in.

This was the same clinic I visited a few days later over some complication I developed. I was received at the door by a formidable attendant who thought and acted as if she ran the clinic all by herself. While we waited for the doctor, she handed me a blue gown – that sexy hospital gown which opens up from all sides and which no doubt has been designed by a perverted designer.

As she helped me into it, the woman pulled me this way and that obviously searching for something. Then she paused and looked at me through narrowed eyes. “No mangalsutra!” she announced, her face a picture of outraged modesty. She clicked her tongue and went off into a monologue about the low, or rather, the lack of moral values in the young generation.

The woman looked so disapproving and scandalized that I didn’t have the heart to correct her misconception and show her the proof of my marital status which had somehow slipped from her notice. It was clearly her day and who was I to rob her of some distraction in her otherwise mundane life, even if it was at the cost of my reputation!

I could so see her going home that evening bursting with news about this young unmarried girl who had gotten herself into a compromising situation. Agabhai!

On this scandalous note, I shall leave you for now. Stay tuned for some more candid revelations in the 2nd episode of my Twintalising tales.

You can listen to the podcast here

Stay safe, stay healthy.

One thought on “Any good news? Twin’talising Tales, ep 1

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