Myself Kamalamma from Kunjibettu, Karnataka.
What to tell you? That day I am simply sitting and watching TV and there is too much concentration so I am forgetting to switch off gas in the kitchen. Full burning smell is in whole house and neighbour is about to call fire-engine. My steel paatre is full black and what about beetroot sambar inside the paatre? Gone, full gone! I am quickly throwing away beetroot pieces, which are also becoming black, outside compound wall. Maybe after some centuries they are becoming fossils and slowly turning into diamonds.
Then I am hiding all other evidence and quickly ordering food from hotel. After half an hour the Mister is coming back from outside and saying, what Kamalamma, you are again watching those rubbish TV serials and burning our dinner and my money or what? Then I am asking, Aiyyo, how you are knowing this and he is saying, I am getting burning smell till Manipal. Ohoho!
Then he is saying he will write letter to Star Plus and other TV channels to stop showing such serials before Kamalamma is burning whole house one day. But who is bothered about his complaints? When people like me are there to watch, our Ekta Kapoor’s stories will go on even after maha pralaya and continue to next yuga also maybe.
But really what I am to do? When I am watching our Ekta akka’s serials I am forgetting whole world. Her story is becoming my story and sometimes my whole body is trembling, nose is becoming red and Kaveri river is flowing out of my eyes. So much drama is there!
In one single house, so many women – mother-in-law, 3 to 4 daughter-in-laws, athe, chikkamma, one old ajji also – from morning to night they are roaming around with designer bindi and full jewellery and big necklace and all as if they are doing yakshagana whole day. Even early in the morning they are in tip-top condition. What about Kamalamma when she is waking up in the morning? Don’t ask… I am looking like Shoorpanaka before she is transforming into beautiful woman in front of Lord Rama. I am also liking to see all women doing no work, only planning whole day how to trouble other women of the house, especially new daughter-in-law who is paapa and is always doing what they are saying.
The Mister is saying it is all rubbish stories and only happening on television and not in real life. But I am thinking maybe it is really happening otherwise why our Ekta akka is not getting married at all! Correct no?
And what to tell you, yesterday I am reading newspaper article about Meghan and Harry who are telling their full life story to Oprah Winfrey aunty and it is like same to same story is happening, not in Star Plus but in Buckingham Palace. Aiyyo Aiyyo!
Paapa Meghan is coming all the way from America thinking she will become princess like Cinderella, but what is happening? Other women in palace are not allowing. Maybe they are not wearing designer bindis and all but they are also giving full trouble to new daughter-in-law it seems, like in our Ekta stories.
How she will adjust then? For most of us one mother-in-law is coming up to nose, paapa girl is having one step-mother-in-law, one father-in-law, one grand-mother-in-law and one grand-father-in-law on top of that. Abbabba! I would have run away after 1st day itself.
If there is chance of becoming Queen in future maybe little bit okay but where is the chance? Too much long line is there. And our Queen ajji and her throne are looking like one Fevicol advertisement. Strong bond is there!
So our Meghan akka is going for plan B. She is taking husband and baby and going back to Hollywood. Maybe she will make one long serial of her own family drama. And maybe Oprah amma is writing script for it. Then there will be full competition for our Ekta Kapoor madam and at last maybe the Mister will be happy when all sponsors are leaving her and running to Meghan akka and he will then get proper dinner from Kamalamma.
Let us see…
This post was published in The Witty Wordsmith of the Times of India Blogs.