Remember those proverbs we learnt in school? I mean, they taught us and we believed them as Gospel. In our defense, we were just a bunch of impressionable young kids back then, our hair in pigtails tied up in blue ribbons.
I’ve been thinking – about proverbs mind you, not the pigtails – and I strongly feel we may just have been misled on many of them. What took me so long to come to this conclusion you may ask.
Well, wisdom comes only to the wise!
And through the years, my wisdom teeth have been systematically extracted on the advise of the dentist, even before they could show up. Apparently they were growing crooked and if left to themselves would affect my – no, not my mind – my gums. So said the dentist.
The last wisdom tooth and therefore my last and final hope, has most likely taken root somewhere; because I confess to feeling a bit on the wise side off late!
And I repeat, we may have been misled by some proverbs. Here are a few of them revisited. With my new found wisdom!
You cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs.
Apparently you can. As I realised when I came across this recipe for eggless omelette in my mail inbox. There I was scrolling aimlessly through some 200 or so unopened mail and I found this recipe nestling between a mail inviting me to migrate to Australia and another blatantly selling me a sure-shot remedy for baldness. True to its name, the recipe for the ‘omelette’ had no mention of any egg anywhere in it, broken or otherwise!
I am – to put it mildly – disillusioned!
Too many cooks spoil the soup.
This must be the joke of the decade. Where, pray tell me, are all the other cooks anyway? I’m the only cook to be seen in my kitchen or anywhere within a mile of it. And believe me, I’m not being modest when I say I can single handedly spoil the soup, incinerate the rotis, overcook the rice and even burn the kitchen down if needed.
So there’s a 2nd proverb gone phut!
People in glass houses should not throw stones.
Catch the guy who said this and ask him what he means by inciting the innocent peace-loving public! Forget glass houses, people living in any kind of – in fact, nobody should be throwing stones at anybody.
And what kind of people are they, who amass stones in their house to throw at people?
Time to call in the Anti Terrorism Squad for this one!
A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.
INDEED? Look at the cheek of this one! If I were a member of PETA – People for Ethical Treatment for Animals, or SPCA – Society for Prevention of Cruelty of Animals, I would definitely stage a protest outside the house of the guy who coined this one, holding up placards condemning him for his shameless suggestion to catch birds instead of leaving the poor dears in the bush where they rightly belong.
Good things come to those who wait.
Hah! If I believed this I would have to wait, like, forever! This doesn’t happen in my house, no Sir! If I want something good – or bad – I have to get my **** off the sofa and get it myself!
When one door closes, another opens.
I need more clarification on this one, if you don’t mind. Does it mean – when someone shuts a door rudely, right in my face, I should wait around? They might open their window? Or the back door maybe? Or were they referring to the inquisitive neighbor’s door?
Beggars can’t be choosers.
This is the biggest scam of all. If I find the person who said this, I have a thing or two to tell him. Where was he when I very kindly gave 50/- to a woman begging with a child on her hip? The next thing I knew she was following me around town whining in a shrill voice. I’m not sure if she was asking me more money, clothes or … she may have been asking me to adopt that bawling baby!
She clearly wasn’t too excited about my donation. Should I have informed her that beggars can’t be, you know…?
This is my 8th entry for the blogging campaign that I participated in the whole of October.
I’m taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa
You can find the previous post for the campaign here.