Myself Kamalamma, from Kunjibettu Karnataka.
What to tell you people! Ever since this Made in China Corona has hit the world, my all friends, neighbours and well-wishers are asking, What Kamalamma, full silence on the topic. Why no comment from you?
As if I am some celebrity like SRK or that Runout heroine, or some politician, to issue statement and all, like – I Kamalamma, condemn this dastardly, cowardly and viral attack by unseen foreign hands…..etc…etc….!
Anyway, who is interested in what Kamalamma says, when there are already so many people saying so many things all over social media.
That WhatsApp! Abbabba! Daily flooded with Corona updates, Corona information, Corona advice, Corona home remedies! Full horoscope on virus! Even my horoscope with all details for marriage purposes did not have so much information I think.
If I take print out of all that information, put it in one file, give one title like “Corona – from Wuhan to Verona. A Case study”, and present it to any University, they will award me PhD immediately. 100%
Yesterday I am sitting at dining table writing grocery list before going for panic buying and The Mister is saying, Oho Corona is making you to write will or what! Please make sure you leave all that garlic you bought last week to someone far from our house.
These husbands are like that only. Ungrateful men. I am doing it for his own good no! I am reading somewhere that garlic is really good to keep away virus, so for past one week I am putting garlic tadka in sambar and rasam and curd rice and all.
Since then I am noticing all people are maintaining safe distance from us.
The Mister is asking if the distance maintained is correct 6 feet as per guidelines, but how I am to know? Kamalamma is not carrying tape measure everywhere no!
Now I am having one small question about this 6 feet business. It is not to scare anyone okay, simply I am asking – what if there is one virus which is good in long jump? Maybe some real Corona expert can clear this doubt.
Otherwise for Kamalamma all instructions are clear and I am following word to word. I am pressing door bell with end of umbrella, turning door handle with elbow and taking aim and kicking door open with foot.
The Mister is calling it The Kamalamma Kick!
Poor man! Last few days there is mourning-like atmosphere in the house with share prices falling and falling. Maybe I will find some shares on the floor when I am sweeping. I am telling him that if situation continues then soon market will reach Paatal Loka.
And what of our Bhuloka? Too much scary situation with this invisible Corona rakshasa multiplying daily and stalking the world and making everyone to sit at home.
The Mister is also working from home only these days. He is sitting in one corner of living room pretending to work and I am in other end of room sitting quietly because he is in ‘work from home’ mode.
If either of us is sneezing or coughing then I am jumping up and spraying sanitizer all around, like they are sprinkling scented water in marriage functions and all.
Then I am quickly trying to recall past 14 days where I went and whom I met. When Health authorities are asking we have to give full correct information. Otherwise reporters will come rushing to our house and next day our photo will come in front page of newspapers.
If I am to be like Satya Harishchandra and tell full truth then actually I am happy with photo in newspaper, but now even I am getting scared looking at my face in the mirror.
All beauty parlors are closed no! Poor Kamalamma’s eyebrows are looking like Amazon forest!
May Lord Udupi Krishna and Ambalpady Mahakali keep everyone safe and healthy and destroy that Corona Rakshas, so that all women can keep their eyebrows in tip-top shape!