Dear Bachchan Sir,
Myself Kamalamma from Karnataka, Udupi.
I am thinking to write a letter to you from long time but afterwards I am thinking who writes letters nowadays! Whole world is on whatsapp only no!
Anyway, hope this letter finds you in the pink of health. Really by the grace of Udupi Krishna, at your age you are in cracking form Sir! Whereas on this side, I am also fine only but little in creaking form. My bones you know Sir, when I bend or turn they are making krrrr… sound. Like creaking doors in Bollywood horror movies! Age is catching up with Kamalamma! What to do?
But nowadays, every night at 9.00 pm sharp all creaking bones and ringing phones are ignored. Why because it is KBC time! Ayyo Sir, as soon as I hear the opening music on Sony TV and your voice saying “Kaun Banega Karodpati, let’s play…” I am simply throwing whatever I have in my hand – big patre, small patre, spoon, plate, anything into the sink and moving to living room.
Then for 1 and half hour, my bottom and the sofa are like fevicol ka mazboot jodi!. Only once I am getting up during one long break. I know you are telling us not to go anywhere but what to do? At our age cannot control for long no!
When you are announcing the winner of the fastest finger first, Sir what to tell – I am only blushing from head to toe. See these all women – how much screaming and jumping around and crying they are doing if they win! And how they are rushing at super speed, like our super fast Matsyagandha express, to hug you! I am little bit nervous also. What if one of them knocks you down! But I am 101 % confident, because how the coconut trees in our Malpe beach are standing tall and strong even in big thunderstorm, like that you are also standing tall and firm against the ‘naari storm’!
And I am also thinking one more thought, you were champion kabaddi player in college or what! Really you are jumping this side and that side very nicely when contestants are diving to touch your feet!
Bachchan Sir, you know I am not at all near IIT level, only once in 3rd grade I got Ist prize in Moral science, otherwise I was so so in studies. But now even The Mister is saying I should be in the Hot Seat because for so many questions I am shouting the correct answer before the options are coming. And then I am counting total how many Rupees I have won.
But if I am to be like Satya Harishchandra then I will tell you one secret – I will mostly take lifeline in 1st question itself and people will laugh and say what stupid woman this Kamalamma is! How she reached KBC! But you people are asking Hindi proverb for Rs 1000/- question and Hindi proverbs are all going over my head! I only know one or two like, ‘Kitne aadmi they’ and all!
Some questions I am not even listening, because I am studying your tie closely. Super designer knot they are tying for you. It is so nice that I am thinking maybe I will tie my hair like that one day. But will it stand? That is the Saath karod question! In your show you are giving 4 lifelines but maybe I will need 10 or 15 hairpins. Let us see.
And your dressing sense! Abbabba… only you can wear purple suit and orange socks and all with such bombatt style Sir. Otherwise always I and the Mister are arguing about everything but here we both are agreeing that it is full groundbreaking!
I am ending this letter with best wishes to you sir. I pray to our both Udupi Krishna and Ambalpady Mahakali to give you long fruitful life with good health and happiness on the occasion of your huttu dina on Oct 11! I am thinking to prepare payasa on that day but the Mister is not happy. He is not liking payasa that much you see!
With kindest regards,
Artist – Sudarshan Rao