Man proposes, God disposes.
A powerful proverb thought up by some really wise guy.
Not to be outdone, I’ve come up with an equally powerful one of my own –
Man hoards, Wife disposes!
At this point, I hasten to mention that in some households the other way round also holds true apparently.
However, in our house it’s my dad who hoards. And how! It’s big business with him. Nothing – BUT NOTHING – is discarded in the house without it first going under his scanner, and then carefully put away. It could be just about anything – cells, screws of different sizes, nylon ropes, grocery receipts of over three years, an assortment of pens (some write, some don’t) cardboard cartons, envelopes, postage stamps, locks and keys and more – you name it – he’ll have it!
Whenever any of us needs anything urgently – and this invariably happens late in the evenings or on a holiday when the shops are closed – we ask him hopefully, “Dad, do you think you might have….?” Nine times out of ten, he does; and he springs into action, to locate the ‘most wanted thing of the moment’ among his collection of odds and ends in the store room or in the cabinets in the spare room. Very soon we have one of those ‘I’m feeling lucky’ moments and dad emerges, triumphantly brandishing the thingummy. But on that one occasion……!
Well, this is where mom steps into the picture. Because, mom disposes! You see, mom doesn’t like clutter! 🙂
To give her credit, she does it only with things that haven’t been touched for a longish period of time. A thing will be lying around for a couple of years or more (kept there carefully by dad, of course), and one fine day mom will get into her cleaning mode and will prowl around the house armed with a duster and a long cobweb cleaner. While at it, she’ll decide by some intricate calculations, that something has over-shot it’s store-by date and out it goes into the pile in the shed behind the house. It lies there for a few days or weeks until the second-hand scrap collector comes a-calling. Moments after he’s done piling the stuff into his pick-up and the vehicle turns round the corner, dad potters along looking for that ‘thing’. He’s decided that he needs it right then and is convinced that life is meaningless without it!
While all the furious searching is going on, mom passes by and announces that ‘that thing’ is no longer present in the house. She adds defiantly and with false bravado that she’d seen it lying around doing nothing for the past two years and she didn’t think it could be useful to anyone anymore, so ….. !
And that is precisely when and how World War III begins at home! Lots of sound and fury! Lasts for a few minutes. Then the Cold War follows! Lasts for a couple of hours. Followed by a tacit cease-fire agreement. Calm prevails. Everybody goes about minding their own business as before.
Days pass by. Summer gives way to the monsoon. Winter follows. Dad hoards. And mom disposes!