“A bird in hand is worth two in the bush”
Oh Yeah? When the English teacher said this to us in the class on ‘Idioms and Proverbs’ in school, we accepted it without argument. In fact, the entire class meekly wrote an Essay (not exceeding 700 words) on the topic. In my defense, I was young and innocent back then, with two pigtails tied up with blue ribbons. The blue ribbons, of course, have nothing to do with the case in hand, or rather, the bird in hand; nor do the pigtails for that matter. But they do add good effect, don’t they, to the image of innocence and all! 😉
However, now that I’m older – and wiser – (I am, you sniggering idiots – I’ve got all 4 wisdom teeth on, so there!) – now, if anyone accosted me in the street and told me that a bird in hand is worth two in the bush, I would beg to differ.
Any other idiom on birds (and there are plenty) is fine, but this one?? Only a bird-catcher, I presume, would nod his head if you told it to him; but herein lies the catch – You won’t catch a bird-catcher in one place long enough to tell idioms to. He’d be flitting from bush to bush after them birds won’t he?
So that leaves you and I. Well, I don’t know about you my friend, but I have no intention of sticking my neck out for the sake of an idiotic idiom and getting pecked by bird-lovers for my troubles! Do you have any idea what we’d be getting ourselves into, if we were seen to be associated with a loaded statement like this one?? As it is people are waiting for controversies around every bush and we’d be handing them one on a platter.
Ms Maneka Gandhi (Cabinet Minister and Animal rights Activist) would surely get to hear about it, and she’ll have a thing or two to say on the topic. She’ll probably add a fresh chapter in her book “Heads and Tails”, under the title ‘Cruelty to birds in the name of idioms’!
Members of PETA and SPCA would stage a sit-in in front of our house and wave banners and shout nasty slogans at us – scaring away any birds in nearby bushes in the process!
Twitter would surely go up in smoke with the topic trending under the hashtag #Unhandthebird or #Youtoo? And just think of the tweets and the trolls!! OMG!!
We would be the center of a noisy debate on News channels with fiery bespectacled news anchors yelling “Answer my question” and ‘The Nation wants to know’ ….. while we sit there trying in vain to get a word in sideways.
Bird lovers would flock down and gaze at our house through binoculars with 10x magnification, hoping to spot a rare bird or two in our hands. Ornithologists I think they’re called – the bird-lovers I mean, not the rare birds!
Bird Vigilantes would ……..
Whew!!! The possibilities are endless and we’d be a sitting duck for all this and more if we’re not careful. Therefore, after due consideration and not beating around any bush (with birds or without), and despite the fact that I’d got 18/20 for that essay in my school days, I hereby introduce an idiom all of my own:
“Birds in the tree – that’s where God meant them to be!”
There now – that’s more like it, what say!! 🙂
*Image courtesy Google pics