Radhika's Diaries

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Dear Sallu Anna,

Myself Kamalamma from Kunjibettu in Udupi.

What to tell you, yesterday I am simply sitting and minding my own business and the Mister is suddenly saying, oho … snake is coming. Then what is happening, Kamalamma is screaming like heroine in Hindi horror film and jumping up on dining table. Then the Mister is saying aiyyo Kamalamma, why you are standing on our dining table if snake is coming to Salman Khan’s house?

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Myself Kamalamma from Kunjibettu, Udupi.

What to tell you! In our Udupi, people are taking off mask and roaming around nicely in big gatherings and crowded market-place and all. When I am asking our neighbour why she is not wearing mask, she is laughing like Archana Puran Singh in Kapil Sharma show and saying, aiyyo amma, what mask, why mask, there is no virus now. Then I am laughing like Sidhu paaji and saying, aiyyo akka nobody told you – new Electron is making entry now. The Mister is poking his nose in between and saying ohoho, it is not electron Kamalamma, it is Omicron, but I am not listening. Whatever name it is having we have to wear mask and take care, no? This new virus is attacking faster than previous little fellows it seems. Then neighbour lady is worried and asking, this electron, proton or neuron, where it has reached now? I am saying don’t worry, maybe there is time to search and wear mask before it comes to our colony, but it seems she is not worried about virus or mask. She is more worried whether again husbands will start work from home!

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“Two years.” I said to my friends and relatives as we packed bag, baggage and buckets before leaving for the sandy deserts of the UAE. “We’re going only for 2 years,” I assured them all. “We’ll be back before you say United Arab Emirates,” I added for good measure, more to console myself than the near and dear ones who had assembled to wish us bon voyage on the day before we left India.

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Udupi Diaries 2

India is a happening country to live in, even if it is in a small colony in a small town like Udupi. With roughly around 15 independent houses set neatly on either side of two intersecting roads, this colony is inhabited by people who go about their daily lives minding their own business, for most of the time.

We are woken up at day-break by a medley of tweets; tweets, as in the musical pleasantries exchanged by a variety of birds and not to be confused with the non-musical insults and other crap exchanged on Twitter.

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Dear Vir anna,

Myself Kamalamma from Kunjibettu in Udupi.

How are you? I hope you are having some time to sit down and read my letter, otherwise you stand-up people are full busy with houseful shows here, there and everywhere. Kamalamma is sometimes thinking what is state of the world nowadays – we have to buy tickets and sit inside auditorium if we want to laugh! Then the Mister is saying, ohoho … Kamalamma, so much deep thoughts, you are turning into philosopher or what?

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