Myself Kamalamma from Kunjibettu, Karnataka.
What to tell you? Yesterday the Mister is watching news on TV and he is saying Tchah, Tchah hundred times and shaking his head like one Bharatanatyam dancer. Poor fellow is in full shock mode seeing news reports of all election rallies and festivals with so many thousands of people falling over one another. And not even one mask!
But Kamalamma is not paying any attention. I am busy with other important issues on my WhatsApp. So many messages and videos to like and forward, I am not having time to read them also. Today morning somebody is putting message that India has crossed more than 2,00,000 corona cases per day and it seems we are becoming 2nd highest in the world. Then all members are putting thumbs up and good luck wishes for our country to be 1st in the world. And immediately forwarding the message to next group. As if we are competing in Olympics. Tchah!
Now it seems exams are cancelled for class 10 children. Maybe they are thinking there is virus in examination centres. Otherwise in full country, our people are 100% sure there is no virus at all. How it will be there? First of all, we people are having thick skin. On top of that, we are drinking kashaaya with ginger, pepper and tulsi leaves every morning and we are also hanging long garland of garlic outside our front door. With this kind of dwaara palakas outside our two main entry points how virus will come? And we are also chanting ‘go, corona, go’, 108 times every evening. All this is working it seems.
Now the question is, why they are not doing like this in other countries also. Everywhere they are only telling people to wear mask and keep distance and all. Our people are knowing that such things are not helping one naya paisa, especially our politicians. Like doctors are taking Hippocrates oath to care for sick people, like that our ministers are taking hypocrisy oath to care for themselves. That is why they are organizing all big melas and election rallies and other big events. They are thinking where there is crowd, virus is not going. It is getting scared and hiding in examination centres maybe.
And what about face masks? Why are they even calling it FACE mask? It is anywhere else but on the face. It seems in some houses, masks are hanging on two nails – His and Hers, on bathroom door. Pink mask for wife, blue mask for husband. Then sometimes women are using mask to tie hair, other times they are keeping mobile phone inside the mask and hanging it up for charging.
I am using it in the kitchen. Now you people will ask, Arre Kamalamma, you are wearing mask in the kitchen also? No, no, I am wearing mask outside, like good citizen, on the face. In the kitchen I am tying it to water tap, like filter! This is working so nicely; I am thinking to apply for one patent. Then like Hema Malini akka is coming on TV for Kent water purifier, I will also come on TV with my Kamalamma water filter!
Last lockdown we are doing panic buying and collecting packets and packets of masks. Now the Mister is saying, see Kamalamma, I told you not to buy so much, now what you will do with all these masks?
Then I am telling him, never fear when Kamalamma is here, because I am having genius like idea! I am thinking, instead of giving blouse piece like other women when we are going to their home, I will give one matching mask along with haldi and kumkuma.
Then when all women will ask, aiyyo Kamalamma, what to do with this mask, I will tell them, please wear it on the face and set an example. Save your family, save our Nation. Don’t let virus come on your hands, take your safety in your hands!
Then the Mister is saying, ohoho Kamalamma … very nice, you are sounding like politician.
This post appeared in the Times of India blogs first.